I lost weight I lost weight!

So I've been doing WW since January 17. At the initial weigh in I was 168.6 on her scale. At the week one weigh in I was 162.6!!! Yay for me!!!!!

It was really affirming that I could own this. But really I think that the best thing WW does for me is make me check everything I eat. It's fits well with my OCD ness that sometimes sprouts. I just love having "tight control" over everything that I eat!!!

I ate perfectly every day, but at cards I did have some tortilla chips and Mary's infamous bean dip. I ate the tiniest bite of brownie for dessert. On Tuesday, I really wasn't into eating and had 8 points left over. Today, I have one point left over.

Now I need to get the exercise on!

At my Fit or Fat class today I discovered I am 37% fat! Holy shit! 37% of my 162 is just fat! It should be 18 to 25 % fat.

If I'm that bad, what is it for the morbidly obese? Scary. So definitely one of my goals is to lose fat and lower that percentage.

Eating Clean

I'm a little excited about this. I got "Clean Eating for Dummies" from the library yesterday. I like the idea of lowering the amount of processed foods in my diet. I don't think I eat a ton of processed goods and I've always made a conscience effort to shop the outside perimeter of the grocery store. But I do eat processed goods with fillers and unknown additives and that's not helping me.

Lately I've been thinking about the whole idea of the acidity in our bodies and those nasty free radicals. I want to lessen this because I think they are poisons that lead to aging, tendinitis and all sorts of physical difficulties.

I bought a nice bunch of collards yesterday. I love fresh collards even though they take a bit to steam, they are so nutritious. I make them with white beans (I have them soaking on the stove...not canned) and israeli couscous. LOVE this recipe! It'll last me a few days, but if there is enough I could freeze some. We'll see. I also bought broccoli. I have to be careful with it because I get a horrible intestinal reaction with broccoli if it is raw. But I was hoping to make a healthy quiche with it for easy breakfasts this week! :)

Sad Dream

So I had this dream last night. It was nothing explicit, as my dreams never are, but it featured this guy, Jensen Ackles.




He walked up behind me, hips lightly swaying as he leaned in for a kiss. His hand went gently to my hip and he asked me to go upstairs with him. I turned around then, surprised he'd see me that way, and suddenly self-conscious. The thoughts in my mind rolling quickly through desire and then fear. I didn't want him to see me naked. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my body. Not much more happened in the dream before the scene faded away.

I was embarrassed and ashamed of my body to the point where I said no to enjoyment. :(

I know, Ackles is quite a specimen, and most women might faint if he asked them to have sex, but I don't think that's the point of the dream or this post. My point is, I've gotten to the point where I don't like myself and what I look like, and it's affecting my choices. Quite sad.